Matt Groening’s The Simpsons is one of the longest running, and most beloved television shows of all time. With two dozen seasons and more than 500 episodes under its belt, let’s take a look at some of Springfield’s most wanted criminals.
1. Homer Simpson: Poor Homer has an arrest record that includes: drunk driving, kidnapping, drug dealing, forgery, tax evasion, and a whole bunch of other crimes. Fortunately, there’s no three-strikes law in Springfield.
2. Marge Simpson: Although the frumpy Marge Simpson may seem like the polar opposite of Homer, she has had her own encounters with the law. After accidentally shoplifting from the Quik-E-Mart, she was found guilty and sentenced to 30 days in Springfield Women’s Prison.
3. Robert Underdunk Terwilligwer, Jr.—AKA “Sideshow Bob”: Bob’s no stranger to prison. He’s Springfield’s resident “evil genius,” and first went away when Bart foiled his plan to frame Krusty for armed robbery. He also tried to blow up Selma Bouvier, forces the Simpson family into witness protection, rigged the Springfield mayoral election, threatens to destroy Springfield with a nuclear bomb, and has attempted to kill the Simpsons multiple times.
4. Snake Jailbird/Chester Turley: Honestly, when isn’t Snake in jail? This is the one Simpsons character who definitely wouldn’t pass a background check. In addition to frequently robbing poor Apu, and stealing everyone’s cars, he’s also blown up a bus full of nuns, “in self defense.”
5. Charles Montgomery Burns: Although you’d think that billionaire Monty Burns had enough cash to buy his way out of prison, he was in fact arrested for possession of stolen art.
6. Lisa Simpson: Yes, even sweet little Lisa, the moral compass of the entire franchise, has done time behind bars. Of course, in typical Simpson’s fashion, the little girl was prosecuted for teaching evolution. Ned Flanders had convinced the school to teach only creationism, so Lisa was forced to go underground, where she was eventually caught and arrested by Chief Clancy Wiggum.
7. Artie Ziff: When Marge’s former classmate Artie Ziff swoops back into her life, he attempts to sweep her off her feet. When he loses his bankrupt company to Homer, the United States Securities and Exchange Commission come in to take the owner (now Homer) away to jail. However Ziff, at the last minute, confesses and is taken to jail instead.
8. Doctor Colossus: Springfield’s resident supervillain, the blue-skinned Doctor appears infrequently and is often already in jail. The implication is that he isn’t very good at being a supervillain, hence always getting caught. Doctor Colossus seems to be okay with this.
9. Mona Simpson: Almost every member of the Simpsons family has done time. Homer’s mother Mona had been on the run from the law for crimes she committed in the 1960s (she released a bunch of animals from an animal testing lab). When she finally surfaces, thinking her son Homer is dead, she’s recognized by Montgomery Burns, who has her arrested.
10. Cecil Terwilliger: Sideshow Bob’s younger brother showed up to destroy Springfield Dam and flood the town—all because Bob was chosen as Krusty the Clown’s sidekick instead of Cecil.
It’s unlikely that the Springfield jail will be emptied anytime soon. It’s more a matter of “who will get caught next?”
Author Byline: Brady Kingsly is a freelance writer living in sunny San Diego, California.