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Guest Blog

10 Animals That Should Wear Braces!


Have you ever looked at your pet and noticed the depth of emotion on her face? Perhaps you’ve spent a day at the zoo and observed many animals that seem to smile at visitors. I love to smile, and I like to think that animals enjoy it too. Unfortunately, many of the toothy grins I’ve seen on the faces of animals at the zoo or in the park could use some serious orthodontic work. Just for fun, I decided to create a top-ten list of animals I think could benefit from Invisalign.

10. Laughing Hyenas
I can’t say I’ve ever noticed how straight or crooked a hyena’s teeth are, but since they spend all that time laughing, these animals definitely deserve orthodontic work if they need it.

9. Horses
In my family, we tease people with great big smiles that they have horsey grins. I love my sister’s horsey grin, and I think horses would be even more proud of flashing their own pearly whites if they lined up perfectly.

8. Llamas
Llamas make my list more because of the nasty faces they make when they spit than because of their charming smiles. Don’t you think they’d be in better moods if their teeth were straighter? At least, they would be more pleasant to watch.

7. House Cats
These sweet companions of crazy old ladies and a few of the rest of us often have serious dental problems. It makes sense that Invisalign would help them with this issue. Perhaps my cat wouldn’t look so much like a feline vampire if he had some orthodontic work done.

6. Beavers
While chewing branches and felling trees is more helpful to beavers in controlling their large, buck teeth than braces ever could be, I think they deserve to have the best-looking teeth in all the animal kingdom simply because of all the work their teeth do.

5. Lions
It’s just wrong to be the king of the jungle who tilts back his head to roar only to have his prey laugh at his crooked teeth.

4. Dogs
Dogs smile all the time. Wouldn’t it be nice if they revealed perfectly straight rows of pearly whites every time they flashed those toothy grins?

3. Hens
The old saying tells us hens’ teeth are rare. Shouldn’t the privileged few have the straightest teeth possible?

2. Chimpanzees
Our closest animal relatives love to make faces almost as much as human children do. Naturally, we should help out our cousins by giving them a chance to flash a winning smile straightened with state-of-the-art orthodontics.

1. Hippos
If you’ve ever seen a hippo open its great, big jaws and yawn, you understand why I’ve selected this species as the number-one animal in need of Invisalign. Those teeth are absolutely hideous, and you simply can’t hide a gap that big between your front teeth. Without orthodontic intervention, no hippopotamus will ever be able to wish you a merry Christmas.

Peter Wendt is a writer and researcher working out of Austin, Texas.


About Dangerous Lee

Writer of essays, short stories and Ask A Black Girl. Author of Keep Your Panties Up and Your Skirt Down & The Half Series - When Black People Look White. Webmaster of DangerousLee.biz.


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