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Girl Stuff

Twitter Question: What age is it best to have kids?

keomi

Hi Keomi,

I’m not sure why someone so young is asking this question, but I want to tell you that having children should be the farthest thing from your mind at your age. Be young, have fun, experience life without the responsibility of taking care of another person and meet someone worthy of having children with. That’s the first step: Build a strong relationship with a nice young man first!

The answer to this question will vary from person to person because there is no magic age that applies to everyone. Having said that, there can be issues of late pregnancy in women over 35. Read about it here. Men can of course make babies until the day they die. Go figure!

We are all different and we mature differently as well. I’d say that it’s best to become a parent when you’re in a place in your life where you’re ready to devote your life to focusing on your child. Most people don’t plan to become parents and even when they do they may find that they were not ready after the baby arrives because parenting is definitely a learn as you go experience.

Being a parent is a huge responsibility and the most important job in the world. I became a mother to Senia when I was 26. She was unplanned and I wasn’t fully mentally or financially ready to become a mother, but when she was born my natural maternal instincts kicked in and I have been raising her as a single mother for 11 years. Being a single parent is HARD work and can sometimes be a sad experience, so if you plan to raise your child alone or find yourself in a situation where you may become a single parent that may greatly affect your parenting abilities. As I said in paragraph one, find a nice young man first. Children need two great parents!

Whatever age a person becomes a parent it’s best to be in a place in life where you’re financially stable (children are expensive) and also make sure that you have experienced life and reached goals without the responsibility of parenting. Becoming a mother is a beautiful experience, but it is also a huge responsibility (how many times have I said that?) and will dramatically affect your lifestyle. There will be things you want to do, places you will want to go and things you will want, but your priority has to be to your child first. You will also need to have a lot of love, patience and understanding under your belt as well as a lot of wisdom.

I found an article about 5 women who became parents at different times in their lives. It should give you a clearer answer to your question. Check it out!

 

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About Dangerous Lee

Writer of essays, short stories and Ask A Black Girl. Author of Keep Your Panties Up and Your Skirt Down & The Half Series - When Black People Look White. Webmaster of DangerousLee.biz.

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