By Cory Franek
Fatherhood, is greater than just being a Dad. I believe that the word DAD, is just a title and Fatherhood, is something that we DAD’s have to earn every day. Especially if we want something in return i.e. respect. First off, I am no expert when it comes to being a dad and I don’t mean to come off like I know everything, I’m simply sharing my views.
I have 2 baby girls, and I can only hope that one day my girls adopt our values and are more successful than us in life. I also have two older step-kids, that I hold very closely to my heart. Many times I feel so inadequate in my abilities to do the right thing every time a decision impacts my kids. Speaking as a child myself, I know that having a father is so much more than just having a dad. We all biologically have a dad, it’s just the way it is. That’s not what I want to talk about though.
I spent some time in the military before my Daddy day’s and I was also brought up by an Officer of the Law in my grandfather. I believe that to bring up children we should have to a strong foundation to build a structure, so to speak. As a step father I gauge my level of influence with my kids daily, I evaluate the way my step kids speak about their biological father and the stuff that they love most about him. I was raised by a step parent myself and I can say that it’s not easy being on either side of the situation. I’ve found that maintaining a consistency with the kids while they split homes can make things easier.
The inspiration behind writing this article came when I am told that I wasn’t my step-kids “real dad”. At first I felt insulted but after thinking on it even more, I started to realize that it was a true statement. I’m not a dad for my step kids, that’s not what I wanted, I just wanted to connect with them. I wanted to just spend time with them and learn about the things that were going on in their lives. I just wanted to get to know them more and more every day. I don’t know exactly what that means but honestly I was just excited to pay it forward.
It’s completely different with my girls because they are still babies. Having a strong household, where mom helps dad, and dad helps mom we demonstrate that we are a team. I would only hope that my daughters can adopt those same qualities. It was important for me to share with you dad’s/father’s out there that what is more important than anything else, is to simply show up and be accountable. Blaming everyone else and having excuses doesn’t add value to Showering kids with money isn’t the same as priceless hours of together time. Once again, these are just my views and I wanted to share that with you.