By Rio Canete
Generally, children are clumsy, naughty, won’t listen to what you say, won’t do what you tell them to do. This oftentimes makes parents lose their patience and end up barking angry words towards their children. Undoubtedly, parents don’t mean what they let out. However, not all parents realize that venting their frustrations in hurtful words can be damaging to the child and can greatly affect their attitudes and characters on who they will become later in life.
What are 5 common verbal blunders or slip-ups that parents or adults unconsciously make?
1. “I told you to stop crying! Do you want me to spank you?”
Instead of stopping the child from crying, threatening him that he will get hurt if he doesn’t stop, won’t help at all. What is best to do is to acknowledge the child’s emotion and let him express himself and ask what is wrong.
2. “You’re so___!” “Bad boy!”
According to a clinical psychologist, statements like “you’re so slow,” “so lazy,” “so bad” can cut deep through a child’s worth. What parents should do is to emphasize that the action was the one that’s bad, not the child.
3. “Can’t you see I’m busy?”
Statements like this when it’s always being used by parents can make the child feel that it will never be okay to talk to them. Thus, kids begin to think that communication is not important. What can be said is something like, “Can we talk about this as soon as I’m done?” alternatively, it can be something like “Just let me finish what I’m doing, and I’ll get back with you, is that okay?”
4. “Look at your sister, she’s far better than you!”
Comparing your child to another sibling or other kids does not help correct a child’s misbehavior. It will only make the child feel that there is something wrong in her own personality. It is best to encourage the child on what she’s able to do on her own to make her gain self-confidence and realize that every child has its own unique characteristics and capabilities.
5. “You should never have done that!”
The truth is, kids make mistakes. They will always make mistakes and keep repeating it until they eventually learn from it. It’s a process. If you point your finger to your child while raising your voice telling him how stupid, he can be to do such a thing, the impression you give your child is that he will never do anything right. Deal with the misbehavior appropriately in a calm manner and kinder words.
The author is a proud single mom, living her life, sharing her experiences, inspiring other single mothers. Please visit blog http://www.singlemomscoffeebreak.com/ for inspirational quotes, parenting tips, current news, interesting videos.
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